Are you ready for love?
This February, let's focus on clearing any blocks around the heart centre, including love of
self, love of others and the ability to be loved.
Let's begin by looking at the heart chakra, one of the main centres of energy within the body. We have seven main chakras running along the midline of the body from the base of the spine up to the top of our head. Each with their own frequencies and various interpretations of how they affect us on every level. The Sanskrit word for the heart chakra is Anahata, meaning unhurt, unstruck or unbeaten. Balancing the heart chakra brings harmony, joy and balance to your life.
With Valentine's Day around the corner, I thought my very first blog will be about love and how this affects our lives.
What's love got to do with it? (Remember the song by Tina Turner?). As human beings our nature is to find love, to be loved and to love in return. (Love that tune from Moulin Rouge. Focus Maria, focus!). Without love we can't flourish. Without love we fade. How many of us rely on the love of another to complete us?
Recently, Jeff Foster said: "So I do not love you, for there is no ‘me’ to love and no ‘you’ to be loved. No, I do not love you, for you are an integral part of that which loves." (http://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/jeff-foster/)
Now that's deep. What can he mean? Let me see if I can explain what I think Jeff was getting at.
Let's imagine a universe with a world in it where lots of human beings live. Let's say this universe if based around concepts of non-duality (everything is one) and consciousness (an awareness). So, based on these concepts, not only is everything one but there is an all seeing, all being consciousness that exists. From this perspective Jeff's comment has more understanding; that if you love another, you only, in fact, love yourself. The person you think you love is a reflection of your own love reflected back at you. Get it?
So, to allow love into our life, to allow our self to be loved, to give love, to be truly at peace and content with our self, we must look inward. Love is but a reflection of that which we see in others. It is how someone or something makes us feel. We seem to spend our lives looking for acceptance and acknowledgement from those around us and in return for them seeing us, to be loved by them. We always attach a condition to that love. I love you because ...
Unconditional love bursts forth from those without judgment. Usually those who know better (or know less) - our children before they become conditioned by beliefs around love being given in return for good behaviour. Animals give love freely too - I suppose because our human conditioning cannot be interpreted by them, they continue to love us undaunted.
So what is it about the human condition that requires love based on conditions? I believe this to be the ego.
Deepak Chopra said, "The ego is our self-image,
not our true self. It is characterised by labels, masks, images, and judgments.
The true self is the field of possibilities, creativity, intentions, and power.
We can go beyond the ego through self- awareness - awareness of our thoughts,
feelings, behaviours, and speech."
So this true self, the field of possibilities,
creativity, intentions and power - wow! I want that side of me to flourish.
Getting back to this love aspect - the ego is our false self, based on our beliefs and our programming. The masks we wear - mother, daughter, niece, girlfriend, wife, policeman, teacher, guru ... there are so many. In everyday life we all wear lots of masks and our behaviour reflects through whichever mask we wear. Is it any wonder we can't truly love from a space of being unconditional, when every action we take is based on beliefs that may not even be real.
So understanding our beliefs and our programming will go a long way to helping us be more in that true self place, simple, yes? Yeah right. Unless you're in an enlightened space without any beliefs or attachments, loving self or another will always be conditional. So let's look at how we can change this.
Let's start with our judgments of self and of others. We do this all the time. Comparing ourselves and then believing that we are not good enough or pretty enough or that they are wrong and you are right etc. More ego at play here.
I'm too fat. I'm not funny. I don't like my nose. I'm ugly. My bum is too big. Why am I developing side boobs. Oh no is that an extra tyre around my waist? Is that a wonky eye! My teeth are crooked. OMG! Stop! And that's just me on a good day talking to myself. Unconsciously abusing myself and adding fuel to the fire that is already programmed into my mind about how I see myself and therefore view my world.
That may have been me some time ago, but life is much
gentler now. What's changed? I have. Not my partner or even my hair style. And
no, I haven't had plastic surgery. I found a connection to the real me.
Inside us all is a place of peace. A place of love and acceptance. There is stillness within us all. A knowing that we are enough, a feeling of complete being. A connection to satisfy the sense of disconnection that we all seem to harbour. For me this realization was that I was in fact asleep – living life from past or future and never really being truly present. I was re-acting to life based on programming and belief systems that were an intrinsic part of me, Maria Wilson, buried deep in my unconscious psyche. They weren't even truths. They were memories and beliefs based on life experiences to date, as well as any pre-programming passed on from my ancestors (sending them love) and my brain had this wonderful setting that kept retracing past experience and using that as the default programming to instruct me as to how I will respond in any given situation happening now. Even if that situation was a thought process, because the brain doesn't know the difference between what was a thought or an imagined idea compared to what is being sensed from the outside world and perceived as actual life experience.
Crap! I'd say. I'm being reactive. I'm a zombie in my own body. No wonder bits keep falling off!! (And is my bum really too big in these jeans? Stop it!). The uncontrolled thoughts keep creeping in. lol
So this real me, how did it surface? Now, I can see
where (my mind is already wondering now to the avatar film and their words
"I see you". Focus Maria, focus). Now, I can see that there is a part
of myself that is connected to all. That is ever present and will live on as
consciousness even after this body becomes ashes. (Too deep?) Yes, ok it's
deep, but bear with me (cute cuddly creatures, bears. Stop it mind. Stop it!).
Oh dear. Focus. I'm going to take a deep breath now. Let me step back into the
zone so I can really get across what I'm feeling you want to hear (or read).
Yes, yes, there it goes again. Breathe. Breathe. Feel my body. Feel inside my
toes, my feet, my legs, etc. Be aware of myself in this moment. Breathe. Follow
the breath as it moves in and passes out of my body. That's better. I'm back in
the room! Lol.
Where was I, oh yes. Connection. Whether you believe in a soul, a higher self, life after death, consciousness etc., is not relevant. What is, is that KNOWING you have inside yourself that you are much more than this body. There's a power inside you that animates the tissues, the cells, etc. It keeps you "together" on a molecular level. There's a power that drives you to wake up each day and live. The big question is: Are you being aware in that moment? Or are you a zombie, unawake and just being re-active?
Days can pass by so quickly, unconsciously. Our mind is always looking ahead or to the past. We are never truly present. Living in this moment. That's what has changed for me. I woke up. Being more mindful and present in every day.
It started as a new awareness to my mind’s eye, my inner perspective, that I am more than I believe I am. Even though I had no idea what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do with my life, but that was ok. I kept thinking I'm not enough. I need to be ... I want to be... etc. All of these thoughts were projections in to the future. No wonder my brain was confused - too much thinking. My body was stressed just trying to keep up. (I'm now seeing myself on a treadmill running after an image I have of myself that I believe is better than the one that's here right now. Stupid? Yes.) In reality that's what we do to ourselves all the time. Chase after an ideal of what we unconsciously think is what we want or feel we need.
Where's your mind right now? Are you present or has your mind drifted to some other time frame. What's for dinner? Did she really say that to me yesterday? I wish I hadn't done that… and so on.
Destructive this patterning we are in
(Yoda springs to mind does he. Lol)
Yet every hour of every day our thoughts cascade into our reality and control how we live our life. I’m aware too of the intelligence of this body that enables me to think, speak and type at the same time, whilst listening to the rain drops outside my open window, the birds singing and the sound of cars driving by and people talking outside. Realising in the same moment how annoying the keys on my keypad are as they click, click, click noisily as I type this blog, without having to consciously control any of it. (WOW! I’m good! Focus!) See how easy it is to fall into thoughts and rant!?
How is it I'm typing this blog and at the same time there is another voice or thought process that is observing my thoughts that I'm typing. Like a higher perspective. Another view point. What is that?
That my friends, is the voice of reason, the voice of
the true self. Some might call it your higher self, your intuitive self, the -
I am conscious self. Whatever it is, it is there. Day to day we have the
ability to hear this voice, to feel it's knowing - the gut instinct that can
tell you whether the guy you've just met is worth flirting with (I’m recalling
a memory when my leg raised off the floor as this young man approached to speak
to me, my skin blushes, excited gurgling in my gut and a thought of "I'd
like to touch your abs." Enough Maria, stop!) He's just a young man being
polite, but my over-zealous cougar nature has taken control? God I wish that
hadn't of happened. Lol. You get my gist.
So to avoid life threatening situations like these (we don't have to worry about the tiger hunting us down any more - unless you're in the jungle in India or the tiger cage at the zoo, yet our stress response is the same, programmed to be on the lookout for any perceived threat) being more conscious in the moment, your instincts might have allowed you to realise you’d left your umbrella at the table you were just sitting at and the kind waiter was bringing that to your attention. (Down cougar, down).
Seriously, in everyday life, we can go about sleep walking and fall from moment to moment without ever being truly present. Our thoughts leading us astray to be better than we are, to be something we are not. How is that helping us? It’s not.
So, wake up! Realise that you can have the balance in your life that you truly desire. To be satisfied with yourself. To be accepting of your life situation and to let go of attachments to past and future. To be really present in this moment and make choices based on real connection and let your cup be full to over flowing (Vodka would be nice. Stop it!). Oh dear, those bloody thoughts.
So, here are my top tips for fabulous February and
beyond. When these habits are formed and the serenity they provide ensues,
you’ll find your love center more open. You’ll be honest with yourself and
others like never before. Acceptance of what is soon follows and believe me,
life is less stressful and much more in the flow.
· Be mindful
Make a promise to yourself that you will, as much as possible, be aware of those uncontrolled thoughts. Do not get involved in those thoughts, just watch them. Be able to see yourself as the observer, watching you having thoughts and letting them pass by without being in them.
Techniques to help might involve seeing your thoughts as clouds passing by. Seeing yourself physically remove those thoughts from your mind and place them in a fish tank or a device that stores them until they dissolve – play with your intuitive nature and see which tool works best for you. Let me know – so I can share with others which tools work for you, to help them with their own visualisations.
· Pause - a lot
Slow down. Being more mindful has the knack of doing this anyway. To be able to focus inwardly you are allowing yourself time to do so. Time can be stretched – how often have you been out with friends (memory: drinking lots of wine, eating chocolate. Focus!), having a great time and the “clock” time has just flown by, all five hours of it? Compared to being in work all day with time dragging on and on. Time is concept that our minds play with. When we’re present – like being with friends and having fun – time slows down as each moment expands into another moment and we have no awareness to the future or the past, we are just present and focused. When we’re locked into the past or the future, maybe because work is so boring and slow and I’m wishing it was time to go home: I think I Ieft the oven on?! Oooh, what shall I have for dinner later? I must go shopping. Last week I forgot to buy pepper. Drat! I’m so forgetful… blah, blah, blah. See how moments are wasted. You’re not really present. You’re locked into thoughts about past and future whilst life ticks on outside of yourself.
So, be mindful, and take time to pause. Encourage yourself to slow down physically. Between every action you make, pause. Become present again before changing your task/scene – getting off the phone, leaving the house or driving the car etc. Pausing allows you to centre yourself. This means bringing your focus back to your body. Breathing. Being in your senses – look around you. Listen to the sounds you can hear. Feel your feet standing in your socks (I can feel a hole too. Focus!) and pause. Breathe. In that moment when you focus on your body and your senses you have no thoughts. Be aware of that too. Experience that stillness, Listen to that silence. It may only last a few seconds, but with practice that will expand. There can be no stress when we’re being present.
Our body is made up of approximately 80% water. Our body’s chemical and neurological responses all involve connection to all areas of the body and this works through the connective tissues, neural pathways, bloodstream etc., – all made up of cells that all require hydration to enable them to function and play their part in the mechanisms that are You, in any moment of every day for your whole life. So let’s be kind to our self. Hydrate. Ideally water is the best consumption, but let’s not get hooked in to ideals, let’s just agree to allow ourselves to have a drink more often through our day. Whether it’s tea, coffee, water, orange juice etc., hydrate. Increased hydration will at first result in more visits to the loo (or in my case being more careful about sneezing or laughing as I might pee myself – ruddy pelvic floor!) sorry, digressed. However, the body will adjust over the coming weeks and your regular visits will become decreased as your body absorbs more water and you feel less tired and your energy levels increase. The systems of the body improve and you’re much less sluggish all over – body and mind.
I don’t just mean to sit in front of the TV – which works fine too, but maybe get yourself out into nature. Benefits include fresh air, increased fitness and improved digestion – burning off those excessive calories you eat (apparently we only need to eat as much food as we can hold in our bare hands at any one time) (yeah right! Tell that to my eyes, they’re bigger than my stomach. Lol).
Connection to our environment, decreased stress levels – blood pressure lowers and our mood improves etc. Relaxation is whatever you want it to be. There are no rules. We are all different, so find what works for you – but the one rule is it must involve a change to your “stress” induced routine. So a change of scenery and/or location. Relaxing means to be and not to do. Give your body and mind a break. Play your favourite music (not the head banging variety) or just sit quietly and focus within. Meditate if that’s your thing. Do Yoga. Ride a bike. Go for a swim. Daydream. Allow yourself to be creative. Draw. Colour – there are some amazing adult colouring books for sale now all for assisting mindfulness, relaxation etc.
· DO BE DO BE DO
Realising that there is a flow in life and that we can be still in one moment and active in another. The yin and yang of life. Being this flow is doing what is natural for an optimum life. No stress. Just flowing from moment to moment. Goals can be achieved with an ease that is stress less – just have to be more present and let go of any attachment to the result. It’s amazing what you can manifest when you are able to let go and let be.
Life is good. Let’s live it. Being happy and doing what we enjoy and having connection is paramount to play this game of life. Why go through it unhappy. Why be a puppet in someone else’s game. Fabulous February is about realising that with a little effort you can have love, be loved and love in return. Just be kind to yourself and make a game out of Mindfulness, Pausing, Hydration, Relaxing, Do-be-do-be-do … simple, right?!
So remember, if you want help with any
of these aspects, because sometimes, just sometimes, having someone to observe that which requires
changing is enough to facilitate that change. Seeing our own "stuff"
isn't always that easy, so if you want an impartial observer, get in touch. Our team here at IndigoAwareness have the tools and the know how to bring you back to love.
Thanks for reading.